mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
