careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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