thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
