So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
