No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
