11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
