you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
