Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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