i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
