Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
