Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
