he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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