Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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