I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
