there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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