I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
smell my finger.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
