Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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