Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
