I wanna passion pit in your ass
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
