Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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