is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
