Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
