what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
