I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have aggressive nipples.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
