i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
