So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize