..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize