she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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