why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
