I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
