Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize