i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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