I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
