Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
