chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
