first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
