Just fell off a train. Bad.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
