I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize