I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
