it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
