Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
