She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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