I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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