I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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