why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
