I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
