My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
