he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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