found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
