I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
being pregnant is like rehab
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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