I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
