She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
