Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
