My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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