You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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