Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
