Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
