Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
