Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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