Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
