spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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