he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
