please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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