well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
