I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
