If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
