I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
