ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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