I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we're making bets on your personal life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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